Back to School and a bit of Bravery

It's back to school time.  A time when children will strap themselves to bed, so summer can last at least one more day.  A time when Mother's will try to hold back the tears and protecting arms.  A time of new shoes, bouquets of sharpened pencils, and haircuts. I use to get super excited about going back to school, cause, well I'm a dork.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE summer, very very much.  But especially when I was little, and the summers seemed long, I would get excited about seeing friends again and learning.  But most of all, I would get excited about back to school shopping.  As some of you know, I inherited my Grandmother's love of shopping and finding a good deal.  So back to school was just an excuse to go shopping! Hooray!

Inevitably however, the morning of the big day, I would find myself new outfit on, haircut, new kicks tied, backpack full of school supplies, bus note pinned to my chest, and absolutely feeling like I was going to puke my guts out.

Suddenly I would lose all care about friends, and realize that I was going to be in a crowd of people I didn't know, in a place that I would get lost in, and without  my Mommy.  This feeling has never gone away.  I was a wreck the first day my parents left me at college, and every first day at a new job ever since.

I know that everyone is nervous about change, and that change is always scary.  I know that doing things in spite of change, and in the face of nervousness is actually brave.  For a long time I thought of bravery as something reserved for hero's, for wars, and people who saved babies from burning buildings.  The truth is, that is beyond brave...that is unfathomable.  That is divine help.  But when I look around me in my life, I see people who are brave daily, and that is a hard kind of bravery.  Mother's and Father's who do it all on their own, friends who tell you the truth when they know you'll be mad, spouses who work at jobs they hate because it's best for their families, people who swallow their pride and take unemployment or lesser jobs than they are qualified for, people who help strangers, people who embrace family struggles or a family that may not embrace them back, people who keep trying no matter what it's about.

Bravery can be a lot of things, and most of all it's about being vulnerable to change because you know it's right: whether it's letting a child go and grow up, or getting on a big yellow school bus while holding your brothers hands.

Sunsphere

I took a very hot walk around Knoxville the other afternoon, hunting up some photos for another project.  But as I was glancing around the horizon line my eye caught, as always, on the Sunsphere.  It's a pretty cool structure and one of the most famous one's in Knoxville.  I realized that even though I've been here for awhile now, I really don't know much about the Sunsphere.  So here is what I have learned, I'm not sure if all of it is true, but here it is all the same. 1. The Sunsphere was the symbol for the 1982 World's Fair.

2. It is 266 ft high.

3.  It was designed by the Knoxville Architectural firm, Community Tectonics.

4. The tower's window glass panels are layered in 24-karat gold dust and cut to seven different shapes.

5. It weighs 600 tons.

6. In the early morning hours on May 12, 1982, a shot was fired from outside the fair site and shattered one of the sphere's windows. No one was ever arrested for the incident.

7. On Sunday, May 15, 2000, nuclear weapons protesters scaled the tower and hung a large banner that said "Stop the Bombs." They remained on the tower for three days before surrendering to police.

8. It's really cool.

9. It's full of leprechauns.

10. It use to be a restaurant.

Like I said, all these MAY or MAY NOT be true.  But it's worth exploring.  And now you have some facts on your local landmark.

Cat-astrophe

If you look at this darling kitty cat and think, "Aw she's sweet, she's innocent, she's adorable and cute."  You would be very wrong.  Don't get me wrong, I love our kitties.  I love them and squeeze them and make them mine.  But there are times when I imagine barbecuing them, or even worse doing things to them that they do to me.  They seem sweet and innocent now, but wait until you discover their true nature. Like this!!

Okay, so maybe they aren't THAT bad, but I was pretty furious last night.  Let me start at the beginning.

Last night I had a fabulous family dinner with Speed Racer's side of the family while he is out of town.  We spent some time talking afterward and I just thoroughly enjoyed myself.  Little did I know what was awaiting me at home.  I drove home, enjoying the night weather.  Happy.  I pulled into the garage and as I got out of the car I smelled a fragrant odor.  It was pleasant and yet familiar.  And then it hit me.  It smelled exactly like the scented oils that we have on top of the refrigerator.  Oh, no.

I rushed up stairs and the fragrance hit me in the face like a tsunami.  And there it was.  All over the kitchen floor.  I quickly locked the evil culprits in our room to keep them from getting into the gooey mess on the floor.  At first I was just frustrated more than anything that I would have to clean all this up.  But it got worse.

As I began to mop up the oily goo with paper towels, the color of the floor started to come up, and then the floor itself.

I frantically made some calls, first to my parents, then to Speed Racer's Uncle, and Speed Racer's Uncle finally called in the big guns, Speed Racer's chemical engineer Grandfather...Papaw John.  According to Papaw John, our floors are linoleum.  Linoleum it turns out, is an asphalt product.  Oil, any kind of oil really, dissolves asphalt.  (You learn new things every day).

Basically there wasn't anything I could do.  I could try and get up as much as the oil as I could, but as for the floors the chemical reaction had already started, and no one could tell when it would stop or how much of the linoleum had been dissolved.  So, I got the laundry detergent out and scrubbed those floors like there was no tomorrow.  The detergent worked very well actually and helped get the gooey mess off to the point where you could at least walk over the space.

I woke up this morning completely expecting a long hole in the floor.  But luckily there wasn't.  It looked exactly the same as last night.  I called Speed Racer this morning and gave him the unfortunate news, he took it like a champ.

I do always try to look on the  bright side, and here are some good points.

1. We are going to replace these floors anyway, and they have been in this house since it was built.  Not the end of the world.

2. At least it wasn't the hardwood floors.

3. Our house smells very nice right now...strong, but nice.

4. The kitties were not covered in goo, and as far as I can tell, did not lick any up.

So yeah, the bright  side.  And no dear readers, I have not killed the kitties.  As I sit here, drinking my coffee and typing away, Ms. Brisco is quietly purring in my lap, trying to tell me she's sorry, vaguely smelling of perfume.  I lean down, scratch around her ears, and quietly whisper, "Just wait until Speed Racer gets home."

*Side Note: From what I researched online, this can also happen with vinyl floors, or take the finish off of wood products.  Take the warnings on the label of the scented oils very seriously whether it is Glade or some other brand.  Do not put them around anything you care about, including your floors.

Dish-o-the-Week: Homemade Mac N' Cheese

I know, your mouth is watering already right?  Who doesn't love Mac N' Cheese?  Crazy people that's who!  I'm pretty serious about my mac n' cheese if you can't tell.  Actually, Speed Racer has had to cut me off from Easy Mac...I wish I was joking.  I had a little bit of an Easy Mac problem there for awhile. My sister in law Olie saw this recipe in the Pioneer Woman cookbook and highly suggested I make it.  I think she was implying that I make it when she was around so she could partake in it, but alas, she lives too far away.  Sorry Olie!  But I'll make more mac n' cheese next time I see you, I'm just making sure I get the recipe perfect first.

So here's what you need.  Pretty basic really.

First you want to cook and drain your macaroni noodles.  You want them a little hard since you'll be baking them in the oven later.

Now we're going to start making the delicious cheesy sauce.  On low heat, we're gonna mix the butter and flour.

Then I added the milk and spices.

You want to keep stirring the sauce until it gets like milkshake thick, then switch it to low heat.  Next I whisked the egg and then tempered it with some of the sauce to keep it from cooking when I poured it into the sauce.

Then more spices. And cheese.

Delicious!  Mix it all together, until it's gooey and wonderful.  Then put into a baking dish and top with.....more cheese!  Because honestly, most things cannot have enough cheese.

And then...enjoy.  It really is a great comfort food, and it's fat free!  Just kidding.  I wish it was, but you can always pretend.

Summer Surprises

I have to admit I was not in the best of moods when I woke up this morning.  I did not want to wake up.  I did not want to run.  I did not want it to be blazing hot.  I did not want to do anything productive.  Lucky for me, Speed Racer has motivation, and I have guilt.  As soon as he's out of bed I know I have to get up or forever feel like a bum.  I rolled, literally rolled out of bed, my old runners feet creaked and popped as I shuffled down the hall on the hardwood floors.  I pulled on my running clothes and poured some cereal.  Hunched over my frosted mini wheats, my eyes finally peeled open. I still really wasn't awake on my way out the door.  It was hot, the humidity engulfed me to the point it was hard and thick to breathe.  My glumness transferred to the weather.  Everything looked brown, everything was crusty and dead.  (This is how lovely I am in the morning.)  As I walked towards the road, this caught my eye.

A beautiful lily was just opening up, still covered in morning dew.  I smiled.  Flowers always make me smile, especially stubborn flowers that just try to carry on no matter how hot it is.  This lily was there going, "I'm a flower and I'm going to bloom, dagummit."  I started to run and as I ran it was like little flowers opened up to me everywhere.  Blue, white, red, and yellow just peeped out from all the dead foliage.

As I ran I was reminded of how last Lent, I decided instead of giving something up and being sad about how I couldn't have chocolate, to dedicate a time each morning to come up with five different things I was thankful for.  It worked amazingly well, I felt so grateful for all that I had been given, and it got me out of the habit of just saying, "I'm thankful for my husband, my family, my friends, my home, and my kitties."

I really enjoy trying to figure out the little things I'm grateful for.  The small changes in life that make it surprising and lift my spirits.  So in the hopes that this lifts your day as well as mine, I encourage you to write down ten unique things you are thankful for today.  Here is my list:

1. I am thankful for stubborn flowers.

2. I am thankful for the shuffling sound of my running shoes on pavement.

3. I am thankful for curiosity and that I still have some.

4. I am thankful for furry paws that greet me every morning.

5. I am thankful for late night talks.

6. I am thankful for fingers gently moving through my hair.

7. I am thankful for the feel of sun on my skin.

8. I am thankful for funny emails from friends.

9. I am thankful for hugs that take my breath away.

10. I am thankful for smile wrinkles.

Oh! And #11.  I am thankful for my camera so that I can share pictures and my random thoughts with you! Happy Wednesday everyone!

Hello, Monday

The day after coming back from vacation is always a rough one for me.  I have a sense of "coming back to reality"and trying to play catch up, while really all I want to do is go bask in the sun. There are good things about coming back from vacation though.  It's always good to realize you're home, to be kissed hello by a husband who maybe, (maybe) missed you, and to sleep in your own bed again.  But even then, I usually spend the first week back, thinking about my vacation and smiling at all the great moments.

This vacation my family and I spent at Pipestem State Park in West Virginia.  We stayed in a cute little cabin at The Resort at Pipestem, and were fantastically isolated in the woods.  It's always hard, for me, to find a balance between activities and just being lazy on vacation, but this time I think we got it right.  We usually got about one activity in a day, whether it was cards, playing life, archery, hiking, boating, swimming, or horseback riding.  There was even a little mini golf...I won't tell you my score, because I would just hate to brag that much.  And between it all I was able to get some couple portraits in of my Brother Jack and His wife Pockets, but more of that later.

If you've never been to Pipestem State Park, I highly recommend it.  The park is clean, there are a variety of places to stay from the lodge to tent camping, and the staff were all really nice.  So without further ado, here is a lovely mix of our activities.  Sorry there aren't more of the swimming, archery, etc type activities...I had my hands a little full.

Don't Worry, Be Happy

Don't worry folks, be happy.  Runawayalice is not going to have any updates for a whole week! *gasp*  But before you go into a hyperventilating panic, it's just because I'm going on a little vacation con mi familia.  My family likes to go remote places where there is no internet connection or phone reception.  That's how we really get away.  So, you're on your own for a week.  But don't worry, I'll be back with plenty of pictures to post, and lots of stories I'm sure.  Enjoy your week, and happy August!

I feel Pretty

I feel pretty.  That's right, I, goofy, awkward, uncoordinated Runawayalice, feel pretty. Yesterday I went and got my haircut by AJ at California Concept, here in Knoxville.  I love her!  She does such a great job and is really fun and easy to talk to.  Anywho, she had some extra time so she curled my hair for me.  I don't do hair very well.  We're talking my glam look is maybe I will put it up in a ponytail.  But the curls were different and made me feel very pretty.  So I did a little research on why women should feel pretty, the results were interesting.So by research I mean I put that exact question into google, just to see what would come up.  I got hits on everything from "I don't feel pretty please help me," to "successful middle aged women," to "I don't feel pretty without make-up."  It was a little scary.   I felt like starting a support group.  "Now repeat after me.  My name is Runawayalice and I feel pretty.  It's okay for me to feel pretty." The truth is it's taken me awhile to become okay with feeling pretty and with my "girlishness."  Ever since I was little I've been a Tom-boy and trying to keep up with my brothers.  I fell down stairs trying to keep up with them because my legs weren't long enough yet.  After my brothers, I always had guy friends, and I wanted to keep up with them.  I mean, I had to run just as fast, or faster.  I had to be able to be tough, to not cry, to hike mountains, skydive, bungee jump, not scream when something was scary.  All those things.  And I love every one of them.  I think that's what took me so long to figure out, I don't have to be one or the other.  I can love shooting guns and having my hair curled too.

I spent most of my teens and college, being one of the guys, and trying to be a tough chic, and I succeeded.  That's part of who I am and I have a great group of guy friends.  But now as I'm getting into my mid twenties, I feel like I'm coming into my womanhood a bit.  That sounds dumb but it's true.  Really over the last year I realized how many amazing women I have in my life.  They've taught me that I can embrace both sides of me.  So here it is, what makes me feel pretty and why I feel pretty.

Hi, my name is Runawayalice.  I feel pretty.  I feel pretty when...

1. I'm wearing my chacos

2. My hair is curly for no reason at all.

3. I'm camping in the middle of nowhere.

4. I help people.

5. My husband whispers he loves me.

6. I see my mother.

7. I shoot a gun.

8. I'm in a bathing suit.

9. I'm at the beach.

10. My Dad hugs me.

11. I'm with my girlfriends.

12. I laugh.

13. I take photographs.

14. I hold a baby.

15. I'm hanging out with the boys.

16. I'm skydiving.

17. I'm alone.

18. I wear cowboy boots.

19. I make art.

20. There's no reason at all to feel pretty.

Why do I feel pretty? (This is the hard one to say because we've been taught not to say it.) Because I am pretty.  Because I enjoy my life.  Because there's so many reasons to feel pretty inside.

Feeling pretty comes from confidence, from finally getting to know who you are, and taking joy in life.  It really has nothing to do with mascara, hair, clothes or anything else.  It's feel pretty Friday.  Feel pretty, because you are.  Happy Friday.

Dish-o-the-Week: Cowboy Calzone's

That's right the dish-o-the-week is indeed another PW recipe.  The calzone's were absolutely scrumptious, and filling.  We'll be eating on them for awhile, but I did have some issues with making them.  Mostly the issues arose from my own inexperience, but some of them were due to unclear directions in the recipe.  I know what you're thinking, I just said I had issues with the Pioneer Woman.  It's just a minor detail, don't worry ladies and gents, my love for the P-Dub is still true, although as Speed Racer said, "The honeymoon may be over..." So the first part of making a calzone is making the dough for the yummy yummy outside.  Usually this is made of pizza dough, and the same is true for the Pioneer Woman recipe.  She uses a pizza dough recipe from her book.  So first things first:

Get your yeast ready!  I had surprisingly, never made a dough with yeast before.  So this was a new experience.

Next up, some flour and salt, with a little olive oil...

So then you mix it all together.  This is where I started to run into some problems.  Problem numero uno: I do not have a stand mixer so this all had to be done by hand.  Nothing wrong with that, sometimes it's fun doing it the old fashion way.  Problem numero dos: in the recipe it says "You can also mix by hand until the dough comes together."  I've never made pizza dough before, so I feel like most of this is my lack of knowledge.  But what is together enough?  Just till it's gooey? More than gooey? Do I need more flour?  I should have went with my gut and added more flour but I didn't.  So, as I read another recipe later, after this was all said and done, I saw an entry that said you should knead the dough for 10-15 minutes.  So..yeah.

Here is my un-kneaded dough, tossed in olive oil.

After that I put a moist towel over it, and put it in a warm place where it would not be disturbed, ie my ginormous microwave.

Two hours later, after my dough had risen, it had risen indeed! I began on the filling.

Added some tomatoes and chilies...

And they're done!  Not.  Yeah so this is my next picture.  Why? Because chaos ensued in my kitchen, and my hands were covered in flour and dough.  So basically what happened, was that I started mixing the cheese and egg together, then added the meat.  But it also looked completely different from the pictures in the cookbook.  I still haven't figured that one out.  Perhaps I didn't let my meat cool long enough, or maybe I should have drained the tomatoes first.  I also ended up with ALOT of filling.  But the primary issue was that since I had not thoroughly kneaded my dough, it was sticky and super hard to handle.  So my first calzone turned out looking like this:

Kinda came apart...just a bit.  But the rest were more or less okay.  And they were good but they needed something a little extra to me.  That I still can't put my finger on.  I think this is just one of those things that will get better the more I make it, and tweak it a little.

I served it with delicious mashed potatoes.  Of my own recipe!  I mean, you really can't get enough starches.

Mmmm creamy.

And the end, the ugly truth is that my kitchen looked like this....

Did I mention that we don't have one of those new fangled dish washing machines?  Just me and my handy scrub brush.  So in conclusion folks, it's all part of the cooking learning curve.  I will make better dough next time, figure out why I had a plethora of filling, and eat a delicious calzone for lunch.  No worries fans, me and P-dubs are still BFFs.  If only in my mind.

Compassion

Yesterday, I was frantically mowing before it started raining again, and came across this little guy.  He was hiding in one of our bird houses which I thought was both clever and asking for it.  What if a bird flew by and thought, "Oh awesome, food AND a house!"  I mean that's what I would probably think if I was a bird...I'm very food driven if you haven't noticed.  But this little guy did get me thinking...which is always a dangerous thing. This little guy (or lady, I guess it could have been a lady frog) was so smiley, it actually made me giggle.  He just looked so content and happy.  I thought I would share his smile with everyone.  What he got me thinking about was that I feel like we all need to smile a little more, to enjoy the little things a little more, and to share that a little more.

With so much going on lately, the ever changing economy, things being tight, trying to work on my photography as well as find another job, I've been in a very "What about me? What am I going to do about me?" mood.  I feel a lot like Smee in the movie Hook, "Smee, Smee. What About Smee? Smee! Smee! Smee. Smee. What about Smee? Smee's me. What about me?"  Lately, I have been reading some inspirational writings by Sue Monk Kidd.  It's a book of compiled short stories that she shares, they're great to read when you just have a short moment.  In the past two chapters she's been sharing stories about open availability and compassion.  By open availability she means, making yourself just open to someone you wouldn't normally be open to.  Listening to someone who is upset, even if they're not your friend, not yelling at someone who is angry at you but listening to their story, or offering just a hand of comfort to someone who needs it.  All these things are also linked with compassion.  But in her short stories Sue Monk Kidd talks about how although she has the ability to give compassion, she often doesn't take the opportunity when it reveals itself.

In the story I read last night she describes how she came out of a shopping center on a bitterly cold day, and saw a homeless man sitting on a bench out front.  He had taken pieces of cardboard and put them down the back of his collar to try and keep out the cold wind.  As she describes how she merely stared and felt pity for the man, a little girl with a red wool scarf walked by, turned around and wrapped the scarf around the mans neck.

I think it's fair to say that we've all tightened our purse strings as of late.  But that's fine, I'm not saying that we have to give money to be compassionate.  There is plenty more we all have that we can give: time, food, hard work, a smile, and just being willing to be open to see what the other person needs.  We must also keep in mind that it's not just homeless people that need compassion and open availability, it can be a coworker, a friend, a child, a stranger crying on a bus, a loved one, a neighbor, or just someone you run into.  I think we have all had an experience where an opportunity for compassion has come up and we have let it pass by, whether it was because of fear, awkwardness, not being sure how to help, or it just being out of our comfort zone.  I am ashamed to admit that last summer when I was eating lunch outside with a friend from work, we were approached by a homeless man, and she gave him a dollar, and I told her that probably wasn't wise considering I'd seen him in the area several times and he was probably just "working" the area.  But now, I'm ashamed of myself.  A couple dollars couldn't hurt, and we were in a very popular area, if I was homeless I would go to popular areas as well, to try and get some help.

So what I guess I'm saying, is that this little guy inspired me to be happy and grateful that I have a warm (or cool in the summer) dry place to stay.  And challenged me not only to be happy with what I have in hard times but to share happiness and compassion with others, and to try and make myself available to those around me.  It's always something to strive for, and I am going to challenge myself this week (as a start) to be more compassionate.  I challenge you to try to do the same.  And until then, smile and count your blessings, I'm sure that's what this little guy is doing.