On a Personal Note

I just peed on our camper floor.  You would think that this would be something that our one year old would do but instead she’s looking at me quizzically with her dark brown judgy eyes.  

Zach woke bright and early to walk the half mile to the campground bath house and get in a shower before we took off on the road again.  I woke up after him and my post birth bladder was about to burst.  I nursed our daughter, trying to keep her kicking feet away from my abdomen.  Then I did what any camping woman would do, I went outside to pop a squat.  However at this particular campground, I had neighbors with no real cover in between us.  Not a problem, I’ll just go over towards the beach.  At the beach an early morning fisherman gave me a cheerful wave, “Morning!”  I mumbled and turned around.

I was getting desperate.  I went back into the camper where our daughter was secured in her travel bed and starting to complain.  “Okay okay okay, what can I pee in?”  I grabbed a ziploc bag.  Eureka!  

This particular Ziploc bag had a hole.  “Shit.”

The camper comes stocked with a toilet.  However, we hadn’t set it up yet and I had never used it.  In my pee frenzy, the idea of having to scoop pee out of the toilet seemed like a stupid option.

I flung the door open and sprinted back out to the beach.  I dropped my pants and let fly.  I stood up, locked eyes with my fisherman pal, and smiled, “Morning!”

Laundromat

The muggy hotness of the room is stifling.  Sweat beads all over my body, making puddles, dark creases, and a glistening mustache.  Despite the sweat, heat, and there being a million people, the room smells fresh.  The chemical sweetness of a multitude of different detergent brands wafts into the air with each machine door that opens.

It’s laundry day.  And apparently Sunday is everyone’s laundry day in Florida City.  The Laundromat is packed with people from every background and age group.  Except white.  I’m the only white person in the room.

I struggled to keep Lucy June from running off while I get our laundry out of the dryer and into the cart to be folded.  It’s a one step forward, two steps back situation.  I get a pair of panties into the cart.  Success!  I chase LJ across the room.  I get two pairs of socks into the cart.  Success!  I pull LJ from under a table.  Seeing me struggle, another Mom comes across the room, “Would you like me to hold the baby?”  Another Mom also come over, “I can hold your cart while you unload.”

Each time I have moved in my life I have become more segregated.  Not intentionally.  But it seemed that each time I had less and less exposure to different cultures and races.  It’s something that I was acutely aware of in Tennessee.  My coworkers were white.  My friends were mostly white.  Then, by becoming a stay at home working Mom, I just didn’t see anyone.  Especially anyone new.  

When Zach and I decided to actually go on this adventure my heart leapt at the chance to experience different areas of the country and different cultures.  And here I was, the odd ball out, and feeling self conscious.  

In 2005 I spent a month in Zimbabwe and for the first time in my life I was a minority.   I stood out like a beacon.  That experience taught me a lot about myself.  About my unconscious thoughts.  About the nature of hate.  The nature of discrimination.  It also taught me that people are people.  And that love is love.

As I sat in the Laundromat, melting, feeling self conscious, and thinking about all of this.  My beautiful, red-headed, unselfconscious daughter reached out to the big black man next to us and stroked his arm.  She smiled her wrinkled nose smile at him as I apologized for her lack of boundaries.  He just smiled and cooed at her, “You’re loving on Big Joe aren’t you?”  She giggled and stroked his arm again.

I love watching her on this trip.  I love seeing how children bring us all back together again.  How parenting can break social boundaries just because you’re all in the same boat.  I love that she doesn’t know any difference between one person and another yet.  We often joke that she is our Ambassador.  She loves people and people love her.

We try to teach our kids so much but often we can learn so much from them.  We can learn to just be.  That people are just people.  And that love is love.   

On Leaving

"You really were made to do this," my Mom laughs as we sit on our old sunken couch.  She's in for a couple days to help babysit as I try to shove the parts of our lives we want to hold on to into plastic bins.  Zach is another world away.  Taking in the vast West and battling alternators on lonely roads.  

She and I were reminiscing about all our family camping trips.  In the summer we would pile in our van and head for the mountains.  Windows down and the cool mountain air catching our voices as we would sing.  Yup, we were that family.  We joke that our family is cursed.  We never had a family camping trip that didn't get rained on.  And by rain I mean drought breaking, record making monsoons.  Some of my earliest memories are splashing around in puddles with my barbie in hand.  My parents stubborn determination to make the most of each trip kept us there.  We didn't pack up and go home.  We made the most of it.  Always.

 
I come from a heritage of campers and adventurers.  My Mom and Dad both got it from their parents; boy scouts, girls scouts, troop leaders, back packing, and long road trips to Alaska.  It's deep down in me.  A longing.  

All the same giving up roots is hard.  After years of being a Pastors kid and moving, I never expected to stay in one place very long.  But after eight years, Knoxville has made an impression on me.  It's been a place of firsts.  First house we owned, first place as a married couple, first renovation, and first child.  Those things are hard to let go of, but it's the little things that really sink their hooks into you.  The smell of our front door, the creak in the hardwood floors, the way the morning light streams into our daughters bedroom, the cool shade in the garage in the afternoon.  Knowing where I'm going when there is a year of getting lost ahead.  

People are always the hardest though.  We have been fortunate to have a village of family and friends in Knoxville that support and help us on a daily basis.  They believe in us.  And it's their faith that makes leaving, and the knot in my throat when I think about leaving them, easier.  After years of moving I know that people like that in your life, stay in your life.  Your life is more beautiful because of them.  I've always thought that in some ways I have been lucky to move throughout my life.  Along the way I have met amazing people and gathered them close to me.  I take them with me to the next place and they embolden me.  

Leaving is hard.  That's the simple truth.  The longing inside of me gives me confidence that this is right for us.  That I have been waiting for a trip like this.  That maybe I was even made for it.  To continue to pass on that heritage to our daughter.  To show her how to make the most of it.  Always.
    

Holiday Cheer

Holiday Greetings boys and girls!  It's that time of year.  Everyone is recovering from Black Friday, and Cyber Monday.  But maybe you didn't find what you wanted? Maybe you didn't feel like braving the crowds or logging onto your computer?  Not to fear citizen.  I've got the perfect gift in mind for you, for any friend, family member, or coworker. Nothing says Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy Hanukkah, or just I'm thinking of you while I eat a lot of Christmas cookies today...like a beautiful photograph.  So if you've had your eye on a photograph for awhile, now is your moment to snatch it up.  Maybe even keep it for yourself, I won't tell.

Here's the low down.

5x7s-$10

8x10s-$15

11x14-$20

Send your requests with the image# and the post name in a comment at the bottom of this post.  Once I receive the comment I will contact you through email for your shipping address and payment options.  This deal is only good through December 10th!  That way we have time to get everything shipped.  *Ahem, side note.  Unfortunately I cannot guarantee getting it there by Christmas since it depends on how busy the company I print through is.  But I will do my best, cross my heart.

Having trouble remembering what posts had those super duper pictures you are thinking of?  Here's a little jog:

For the Cow Lover in your Life

The Retro Lover

Kitty Lover, Again, and Again

And for all you nature and landscape enthusiasts, lots and lots and lots to choose from.

But I suggest just taking a little bit and look back through each post, that way you can decide what you really want.  Remember this is only good through December 10th so hop to it!

Adam and Christi

As most of you know from Hello, Georgia I was in Georgia last weekend to shoot a wedding with Rebecca Claire Photography.  Adam, the Groom, is actually Claire's brother, so she had bridesmaid requirements to meet, which left me as the primary shooter.  The wedding was tons of fun!  Adam and Christi are really great people, and were super fun to work with. The wedding was at Wolf Mountain Winery, near Dahlonega GA.  Wolf Mountain is a gorgeous setting, and with the wedding at 5:30 we got to enjoy one of the first perfect September days and into the evening.  Claire was nice enough to let me post some of the pictures I took although we haven't finished editing all the photos yet.  Unfortunately some of my favorite pics were on a memory card I gave her to download, but we'll have to make due with the selection I've picked out.  Here's the sneak peak, but keep checking www.rebeccaclaire.com for the full photos, they're going to be breath taking!

Christi was just a positively stunning bride...and I'm kinda partial to red heads.  I wish I was one.

Christi's Dad enjoyed the lipstick smooch.

A lovely picture with the new sister-in-law.

Proud Mother of the Groom.

The ladies were doing some serious rocking out to Madonna before hand, it's a good way to calm the nerves.

The happy couple.

There are more of these gorgeous vineyard shots on the other memory card.  Boo...we'll see them eventually.

Hello, Georgia.

So here I am, sitting in my fluffy hotel bed in Dohlonega Georgia.   I conquered hunger, I conquered twisty roads, I didn't get lost.  And now I am ready to enjoy this awesome bed. I'm here in Georgia to help the lovely Mrs. Rebecca Claire shoot her brother's wedding.  We're staying at The Smith House and I have to say, it's pretty snazzy.

It's been a long day and tomorrow is going to be even longer, so it's off to bed with me.  I wish I was at home with Speed Racer but this lovely down comforter will have to keep my cozy instead.  Happy Labor day weekend everybody!  Stay safe!

I love September

It's hard to believe that today is the first day of September.  Fall is upon us and I don't feel quite ready.  I love September.  It's my favorite month...also because it's my birthday month, and well, quite frankly I LOVE birthdays.  Especially mine.  But this year it has snuck up on me, and I'm not quite sure what to do with September. I woke up Saturday morning at my parents house, to a foggy field view.  (Thus all the pictures.)  To me, it's a magical time when the seasons begin to transition.  Everything changes, and seems full of mystery...and there is fog.  I love fog, it reminds me of fairy tale books for some reason.

But I woke up, eyes still blood shot and exhausted from the day before to this beautiful view.  I stumbled out of bed...found my shoes...mumbled something about photos as I passed my Mom and went out the back door.  While I shot, I began to wake up.  The cool crisp air made me realize that summer is gone...and somehow I feel like I missed it.

I am determined not to do the same with September.  Don't get me wrong, it's going to be a busy month.  I have two, possibly three, weddings to do with Rebecca Claire Photography.  I have to get my tonsils removed.  And I have several senior portraits lined up.  Not to mention just the day to day working.  Speed Racer also has a ton of travel ahead of him this month, so that just makes us busy.  So I already feel like I'm letting it slip by.

Usually by now I already have my birthday list sent out (at times I have sent it out in July...yeah, I'm that kid).  But I haven't done it yet, and each time I try to I just seem to get discouraged.  Speed Racer wistfully asked what I wanted for my birthday this year, and for once I said, "I just don't know."

Unlike most people who say that who are modest and not greedy people, I did not say it because I don't want presents, I think I said it out of exhaustion.  There are MANY things that I want, but none of them seem to come in gift form...or affordable gifts at that.  I want time away.  Just for me and Speed Racer.  I want to buy practical things that make dumb presents.  I want to figure out things.  I want to be surprised.  Stuff like that.

But the great thing about fall is that it always seems full of new prospects to me.  Unlike Spring, fall to me is a time to hunker down with a good book outside, and spend some quality time.  Even if this fall is busy, I know it's going to be a good one.  I'm taking fall back.

Friday. Friday!

Happy Friday everyone!  I'm headed back to the land that I love, the land of my youth, the land where everyone knows my name!  Well, maybe not that last one, at least I hope not, that would mean I'm in trouble. I'm headed back North to Virginia for the weekend.  It's going to be a fun time of get together, and actually lots of photography as well!  My friend The Twin and Preacher are in need of some photography skills, and I am happy to oblige them.  Lots more to post when I get back of the photo sessions.  Have a great, safe, weekend everyone!

Vision

copyright James Chance What is vision?  What inspires us to take a closer look at what is around us?  Why do certain ideas grab us and take hold, while to others they hardly matter?

I ran across this article on pdnonline.com, about Photographer James Chance winning POYi's new Emerging Vision Incentive grant.  It's a $10,000 grant that helps artists achieve an idea or vision.  The idea is reviewed by a board and they determine whether or not it is deserving of the grant.  James Chance's vision was entitled, "Living with the Dead."

James Chance ran across an article about how poor people were living in Manila's North Cemetery in the Philippines.  Chance will use the grant money to fund several trips to continue working on the project and documenting families there.  Officials said that his project was chosen because of the depth of the project.  Not only did it speak of poverty, how countries handle poverty, but generational issues, and public health as well.  I think it's fantastic that we still have grants and other financial support so that people can pursue their visions.  ARTICLE

Vision is defined in the dictionary as:

1.the act or power of sensing with the eyes; sight.

2.the act or power of anticipating that which will or may come to be: prophetic vision; the vision of an entrepreneur.

3.an experience in which a personage, thing, or event appears vividly or credibly to the mind, although not actually present, often under the influence of a divine or other agency.

4.something seen or otherwise perceived during such an experience.

5.a vivid, imaginative conception or anticipation.

6.something seen; an object of sight.

7.a scene, person, etc., of extraordinary beauty.

It has been my experience that vision in the art world is an idea that possesses your soul.  So often I have ideas that flit in and out of my head about great bodies of work that I could create, but there are few that truly keep me occupied to the point where I think about them constantly...and those are the ones that matter.

I think the second part of vision is the ability to act on your vision.  It's easy to jot down ideas but to actually start to create is the hard part.  How long did it take James Chance to be able to go to the Philippines?  But obviously this idea was important enough to him that he realized he would need grant money to help fund it.  Making a vision into reality is something that artists have struggled with for years.  How can you make others see what you have seen, feel what you have felt, and experience it as you have?

The third part of vision, and this is under the belief that you want to share this vision, is relaying it in a way that it is important to others.  Ideas that involve crisis, or social-economic struggles of the human race are themes that everyone wants to care about and relate to.  We all struggle, we all have hard times, and we can come together through that.  More abstract visions are harder to get across, at least to me.  And sometimes they are good in the fact that different people might see different issues in them.  For example, for some time now I have wanted to do a series of pictures of older churches in the South.  Why, personally?  I'm not sure.  Maybe it's because I see them changing.  Little back water churches have been over run by the mega church, and are slowly failing.  But when I take those pictures, what will others see in them?

Think about your own visions today, whether they are photographs, stories, writing, personal, career, crafts, or visions you have for your family.  Vision really is about hopes and dreams, as well as goals.  What is your vision?  How are you going to make it happen?